| So whatcha in for? |
[Jun. 24th, 2008|04:33 pm] |
That guy who had sex with a picknic table has been sentenced to six months in jail. |
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| More from the Great Big World of DUH! |
[Jun. 6th, 2008|12:51 pm] |
This is a new article about a guy counterfeiting in a public restroom with a desk top copier. What really makes me laugh is the guy said he's homeless but he managed to raise 100 bucks to buy a copier.
SPOKANE--Detectives arrested a teenager they say was counterfeiting $10 bills in the family restroom of Riverpark Square Mall in downtown Spokane.
Detectives said mall security told them 19-year-old Calvin Robinson was noticed inside the mall's family restroom for more than an hour on Wednesday afternoon.
The security officers jingled their keys outside of a locked restroom stall to make it seem they were going to open it up when Robinson finally opened the door.
The officers saw a color copier on the floor and sheets of paper in the trash on which $10 bills had been printed.
The U.S. Secret Service was contacted and took over the investigation.
Robinson told detectives he was homeless and didn't have access to power with which to print counterfeit bills, so he went to the family restroom so he could use the electricity and a place to work uninterrupted.
Robinson said he wanted to print enough $10 bills to buy $90 worth of marijuana.
He said he spent $100 on the color copier and paper at a local Office Depot he used for the operation.
Robinson is in jail on a forgery charge. He has prior convictions for vehicle theft and possession of stolen property |
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| 34 and 60 are the ones that crack me up. |
[May. 14th, 2008|09:54 am] |
NO LONGER WEIRD
by Chuck Shepherd Copyright 2003. All rights reserved.
Updated: August 1, 2003
The following kinds of stories were formerly weird, but they now occur with
such frequency that they must be retired from circulation:
1. an old, widely-advertised phone-sex number is reassigned to a
church/charity
2. suspicious package thought to be a bomb, turns out to be something stupid
3. robber leaves his ID [wallet or appointment card for probation officer or etc.] at the scene
4. peace/brotherhood conference erupts into violence
5. robber on getaway accidentally hails unmarked police car
6. political candidate dies but still wins the election
7. family thinks he's dead, but he's not and attends his own funeral
8. hunters shoot each other
9. funeral home owner neglects/mixes up bodies
10. "victimized" drug buyer complains to police that someone sold him weak or bogus drugs
11. some countries prohibit giving children certain names
12. in middle of an obvious drug raid, customer wanders up and asks cop if he can buy some drugs
13. shoots himself while supposedly demonstrating gun safety
14. global warming caused by animal methane
15. burglar gets stuck in vent or chimney
16. courthouse visitor/defendant inadvertently places contraband on the
x-ray tables at entrance
17. burglar falls asleep during job.
18. family accidentally leaves behind a kid at a highway rest stop
19. driver's license applicant crashes into examiner station before or during test
20. [Oops! It's about the same as number 15]
21. overdue-library-book scofflaws actually go to jail
22. DUI tickets for "driving" a bicycle [or horse or riding lawn mower or etc.]
23. starts fire because can't stop smoking even though hooked up to oxygen machine
24. gasoline thieves check quantity in tank by using a match or lighter to peer inside
25. older teacher/younger boy relationship
26. firefighter with an arson habit [to keep in practice or to feel wanted or etc.]
27. local election ends in tie, settled (by law) by coin flip or draw of cards
28. Japanese men committing suicide because of overwork
29. angry customer drives car right through store's front door
30. heating-oil delivery to wrong house, resulting in flooded basement
31. postal worker hoards mail because he's behind in delivering it
32. bank robber hails taxi or municipal bus for getaway
33. the annual student cheating riots in Bangladesh
34. criminal on the lam goes on national tv talk show and mentions that he's wanted
35. dog steps on gun, shooting the master
36. pack of animals breaks into liquor cabinet or fermenting vat, get drunk
37. a loved one died at home, but the relative never gets around to burying him or her
38. school zero-tolerance policies for "weapons" that are purely, obviously ornamental
39. amateur videographers set up miniature cameras in restrooms
40. animal-hoarding (mostly of cats) women
41. carjackers who never learned to drive stick shift and must abandon the car
42. criminal suspect evading police, jumps in river to escape, and drowns
43. young-looking adults impersonate teenagers and return to high school
44. African nation's rumors of people with power to make penises disappear
45. humongous abdominal cysts removed in surgery
46. unlabeled urn with loved one's ashes mistakenly stolen or sold at yard sale
47. husband takes his wife back even though she just tried to kill him
48. judges punish young people by forcing them to listen to [classical or polka or etc.] music
49. hit-and-run driver drives on and on with body or bicycle in grille or windshield
50. criminal, cornered by police dog, bites the dog
51. burglars leave footprints in snow, directly to their homes
52. [Oops! It's about the same as number 48]
53. video shoe-cams or smoke-detector-cams to spy on women
54. Japanese making many silent hang-up telephone calls against former lover or business partner
55. robber smashes store's surveillance "camera," but it's only the lens, and it captured his face
56. inadvertently tries to cash a stolen personal check at the store [bank] where his victim works
57. accidental bombing of house by airliner's "blue ice"
58. elderly citizen trying to convince bureaucrat that, contrary to records, he's not really dead
59. elderly motorist makes wrong turn, gets lost for days
60. bands of criminals videotape their entire crime sprees for kicks, but makes it easy for cops
61. parents frolic while their small kids are left home alone
62. people trying to outrun police while driving slow-moving vehicles
63. combining jellyfish gene to produce another plant or animal that glows
64. imposter cop has car with flashing light, stopping motorists, accidentally stops real cop
65. parents who leave their small kids locked in hot cars while they frolic
66. inmates who advertise innocently for penpals on lonely-hearts pages on
the Internet. |
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| Oh for Christ Sake |
[Mar. 10th, 2008|11:54 am] |
Today's News of the Weird
In February, televangelist Jim Bakker (who lost his Praise The Lord ministry in the 1980s in fraud convictions that led to a five-year prison stint) began broadcasting from Morningside, his new religious development in southern Missouri that bears a strong resemblance to PTL's Heritage USA project. According to a February report in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, "hundreds" of Heritage contributors ponied up this time, too, and despite the fact that each lost 99 percent of the value of their $1,000 investments, some even signed over their $6.54 restitution checks (following the fraud settlement) to Bakker's new venture. The newspaper, observing Bakker's debut from the new studio, noted that the first appeal for donations did not come until 41 minutes into the show. [St. Louis Post-Dispatch, 2-17-08] |
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| News of the Weird |
[Mar. 6th, 2008|12:23 pm] |
He used to get into a lot of fights in school. We don't know why.
Falsely accused of kidnapping a 17-year-old girl in Oshkosh, Wis., in November: a previously convicted sex offender, Mr. Pheuk Kue. [Sheboygan Press, 11-17-07] |
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| News of the Weird Highlights |
[Aug. 21st, 2007|01:35 pm] |
Two men and a woman were among the recent wave of people trying to cash in on the high price of copper scrap metal when they broke into an abandoned nursing home in Gainesville, Ga., in July. However, they had missed the sign at the entrance announcing that the building had recently been converted into a training facility and kennel for police dogs, and they were quickly sicced on and arrested. [Gainesville Times, 7-20-07]
Chicago police arrested three alleged dope-sellers in June after casually spotting one of them inside a garage with the door open, bagging $670,000 worth of marijuana. The police came upon the garage while chasing a man who had been urinating in public. [Chicago Sun-Times, 6-28-07] |
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| Transgender panda |
[Aug. 9th, 2007|09:33 am] |
Wow the stuff you read about in the news.
Edit: They moved the link.
BEIJING, China (Reuters) -- A panda once believed to be male and sent to Japan to breed with a female without success gave birth to twin cubs this week, state media reported on Thursday.
An estimated 1,600 wild pandas live in nature reserves in China's Sichuan, Gansu and Shaanxi provinces.
The panda, "Jinzhu", gave birth to two female cubs on Monday at the Wolong Nature Reserve in the mountainous southwestern province of Sichuan, 11 years after being declared male at birth in 1996, Xinhua news agency said.
"Jinzhu was believed to be male owing to her inconspicuous secondary sex characteristic and behavior," the agency quoted Wei Rongping, assistant director of the reserve's research center, as saying.
Jinzhu was sent to Japan in 2000 to mate with a female, the report said.
"When the pandas showed complete disinterest, experts decided to turn to artificial insemination, leading to the discovery that Jinzhu had no penis," it added.
Jinzhu was sent back to China in 2002, with experts arguing the panda was either a hermaphrodite or had "undeveloped" sexual organs.
"The penis of an adult panda is only about 3 centimeters (1.2 inches) long," Xinhua quoted Li Deshen, a panda expert, as saying, as a possible reason for the mix-up.
It was not until 2005 that scientists discovered nine-year-old Jinzhu's ovaries were positioned in the wrong place, and gave her a two-hour operation to make her a "normal girl", Xinhua said.
Jinzhu subsequently mated with a male in March 2007 and gave birth 142 days later, Xinhua said.
The giant panda is one of the world's most endangered species and is found only in China. An estimated 1,600 wild pandas live in nature reserves in China's Sichuan, Gansu and Shaanxi |
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| From News of the Weird |
[Jul. 14th, 2006|11:31 am] |
Troy and Jennifer Schally disclosed in June that their son Henry had chosen, among several possibilities as the theme for his third birthday party, PBS "NewsHour With Jim Lehrer." The Schallys supplied a birthday cake with a photo of the show's correspondents and periodic playing of its theme music. According to a Washington Post report, Lehrer sent along an autographed photo, signed in the name Henry calls him, "Jimmy Jimmy BoBo." |
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| I get chest pains just reading it. |
[Jun. 15th, 2006|08:50 am] |
This is from today's edition of News of the Weird.
In a May dispatch from Atlanta on Southerners' notoriously unnutritious, fat-laden cuisine, a Chicago Tribune reporter watered readers' mouths with descriptions of the "hamdog" and the "Luther" (prized dishes of Mulligan's restaurant in Decatur, Ga.), which are, respectively, "a half-pound of hamburger meat wrapped around a hot dog, which is deep-fried and served on a hoagie topped with chili, bacon and a fried egg," and "a half-pound burger served with bacon and cheese on a Krispy Kreme doughnut." The 11 states from Washington, D.C., to Florida, west to Texas, have the nation's highest mortality rate from strokes, but, said a University of Mississippi professor, "Food is a strong emblem of identity for Southerners," uniquely shared across racial lines. |
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| Hey baby mind if I tiddle your wink? |
[Feb. 16th, 2006|08:23 am] |
This was in the Startribune News of the Weird this morning. I had to share.
Dave (The Dragon) Lockwood and his tournament-tested sons, Max, 16, Jon, 13, and Ben, 10, of Silver Spring, Md., might become to competitive tiddlywinks what the Manning family of quarterbacks is to football, according to a January Washington Post story. Dave was previously ranked No. 1 in the English Tiddlywinks Association (and is currently No. 8, with Max No. 52). "Tiddlywinks doesn't sound very serious," said Max, but "there's so much strategy." (For the uninformed: You mash a "squidger" down on a "wink" to propel it either into the "pot" or to "squop" it onto an opponent's wink to temporarily disable it.) Dave said he plans to get Britain's Prince Philip, a winker, to suggest tiddlywinks as a demonstration "sport" at London's 2012 Summer Olympics. |
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